Sunday, August 5, 2012

THE STATISTICS JOKE

One day, there was a fire in a wastebasket in the Dean's office and in rushed a physicist, a chemist and a statistician. The physicist immediately starts to work on how much energy would have to be removed from the fire to stop the combustion. The chemist works on which reagent would have to be added to the fire to prevent oxidation. While they are doing this, the statistician is setting fires to all other wastebaskets in the office.

"What are you doing?", they demanded.
"Well, to solve the problem, obviously you need a larger sample size" the statistician replied.
Then, they all started to argue and fight with each other until the fire got bigger and bigger, engulfing the Dean's office. It was way too late to save the office but luckily, the physicist, chemist and statistician manage to get out of the danger in time.
Not long, came the Dean with a furious look on his face. He was so angry that he slapped all 3 guys' face without mercy. He slapped them for a good 30 seconds. *ouch!* After he felt content, he asked them what actually happened.
PHYSICIST: Sir, actually there was a fire in one of your wastebaskets. So, we tried to put the flame out. I was calculating how much energy needed to stop the combustion, he (chemist) works on which reagent is the best to use and he (statistician) suddenly set fires to the other wastebaskets!!! After much calculation using laws of motion and work energy power, I've found out that it was the Statistician whom we should put the blame on.
DEAN: IS THIS TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????/
CHEMIST: Absolutely 100% true sir. Even I have tested the chemicals contained in his sweat to be full of guilt and idiocy. 
STATISTICIAN: Sir, you can't just blame it on me. I was just trying to help. I found that I don't have much data to solve the problem. So, that's why I set fire to all the wastebasket. That's what I learn from the chapter Population and Sample. I'm just putting it into practice.
DEAN: YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!! Why do you have to use Population and Sample??? This is not the right situation to use it. You should have use either Probability or Hypothesis Testing!!!!!
STATISTICIAN: Oh, I haven't yet to learn Hypothesis Testing sir and it looks like that I've forgotten about Probability since I'm so caught up with Population and Sampling. Maybe next time....no wonder I felt so weird when doing the mathematical part. Hmmm...

The Dean is now bursting with flame like an erupting volcano. He slapped the Statistician hard on the face and asked him to leave the campus once and for all. Before the Statistician left, he said
"Sir, if I am ever to be back to this college, would you let me take the Chemistry course? I think I'll be a way better chemist than a statistician. See you guys later!"

THE END