2 FACE?

Ok. This post might be a little bit bias or very much bias you might say, but hey it's the truth and it's been bugging me for the last few days after knowing some BIG NEWS about this person.

         To start off, I don't even really know this guy. I just knew him from a good friend of mine which we met like 7 years ago via online and we've never meet. Up until now but still we contact with each other. That's the beautiful thing I guess of being a pan-pal. Back to the topic, umm so I knew this guy right, not intentionally though because my friend or should we labelled my friend as A suddenly wanted to introduce him to me. Not because she *oh, I forgot to mention that this friend of mine is a girl* wanted to match-make me with this guy, it's just because I think that time they were dating with each other. So, she wanted to introduce her boyfriend to me. And from there, we (the guy and I) chatted with each other for like a few times. Then, if I could still remember they broke up because the guy was dating with a Chinese girl. Urghh,,

         Let's just fast-froward things a little bit. So, when I've finished my SPM and later got an offer to further my study in a college (not going to tell you which college just for confidentiality) I was so shocked because that guy is going to the same college too. Surprise surprise. Honestly, I'm not really fond to meet him because of the way he's been treating A and all of the other inappropriate behaviour I've been informed about him. And I didn't even tell A that we were going to the same college. But then of course A knows about it and told me. She was sooo superly excited for me to meet this guy which is totally the opposite way for me.

         So, knowing that sooner or later I'm going to meet him of course I did a little stalking to know what he looks like. It's not like I don't know how he looks like from all the pictures A sent me, it's just that that pictures were like a long time ago and yeah,  how can I say this: All of us changed in some way or the other when growing up. Especially boys. What I was kinda furious was that A gave my phone number to that guy!!! ARGHHHH!!! She say so that we can meet and talk.

        The first message that he sent me sounded very cliche and I know that he was trying to tackle me in some ways and not going to lie, I almost fell into the trap just because he has the face. He was quite handsome. Of course, he looks like a Chinese and a Malay more to Chinese I must say. hahahhaha stupid me. Then, he tried to convince me to join a martial arts club because he knew that I was into it the same way he was. But I refused because my class schedule overlap with the club's training hours.

        Then, that guy's flirting started to flourish like a flower bloom on the first spring day. I tried not to go crazy heads over heels with him because I knew that the fact he was an ex of A which will be a total break of my hard and strong principles to do not have any relationship with any of my friends ex-es and on top of all, I knew what he was like. I mean really really what he was like. So, I just bare with all the flirting all the way through for a few months. Then, until one day I found out that he was already engaged to someone and worst of all that someone is MY FRIEND!!!! At that moment, I had mixed feelings which overall could be summed up into WHAT THE H**L!!! I dunno what to say. I was flabbergasted. I asked my friend when did they got engaged and she said umm.."It was like early sem 2". And all this time when he was engaged, he still sent me all those weird flirty messages!!??? Shame on him. After knowing the truth, I unfriend him from facebook and did not reply any of his messages anymore. It was too painful to even see his face after that. I was purely feeling a little sympathy towards my friend who got engaged with him and just kept my mouth shut and deep down inside I truly hope that he would change for the better of his fiancee.

         5 months later, they broke up. He's the one who called off the engagement. To my surprise, I sort of knew that it would happen. It's not me hoping that their engagement would be cancelled off but knowing him...huh. Needless to say, my friend was totally heartbroken. And now what pisses me off, he is growing popular. Not in a bad way but in a good one. He has become one of the most powerful and most influential dai'e boys in the college. It pisses me off when people keep saying to me how good he is, how nice he is, how futuristic he is, how husband like he is, how this and how that he is. But the truth is deep down, he's not. I tried to convince myself that probably he has changed. Totally not the same person as he was before but the idea of just thinking all the good deeds that he has done to other people is just so hard for me to accept. Maybe I'm just being too judgmental. And probably because I still know all his wrong-doings up until now......

         Well, what I'm trying to say here is that it is actually really hard to maintain your integrity. People might not really thought about it but once you've tainted your image to anyone, well let's just say bye bye to regain it back to the state where it was once a pure white. But maybe for his case, I do know a few people just like him so it's pretty hard for me to except the good change in him. Ya Allah, terangilah hatiku ini Ya Allah janganlah engkau bagi aku perasaan hasad dengki, jgnlah engkau biarkan diriku ini mengaibkan saudara seIslam ku ya Allah..maafkanlah perbuatan aku ini ya Allah...